Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The day I became a Mother.

I've been putting off writing this post because I'm afraid I won't be able to convey accurately how wonderful that day was and the array of emotions I felt. It's important for me to get my story out there because when I was pregnant I was surprised with the negativity that the majority of women have for giving birth. In our society it has become a very scary thing, the boogey men for women. It was such a contrast on how I viewed my pregnancy. It was such a happy experience for me. I loved watching me each week get bigger and feeling his kicks. I thought about what he'd be like and how much I loved him already. It was so wonderful so how could the labor be any different?
Me at 33 weeks

When talking about my pregnancy with other women, I was constantly met with everyone's horror stories of their labor and it was told in such a way that that's just the way giving birth is; Painful, scary and life threatening.
Seemed a little dramatic to me.
At first the thought of giving birth terrified me. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain and it didn't help that no one could give me an accurate or a consistent description of how painful it was going to be or what to even expect. The unknown of what was going to happen or how my body was going to react was even scarier to think about.
Sure, there are drugs that could help ease the pain but going all natural was very important to me that they weren't even an option.
Eventually, I came to the decision that I needed to learn more about the birthing process. I needed to educate myself on how my body was going to react and what to expect as far as hospital procedures go. I needed to find out what I wanted when it came to giving birth.
I don't remember how I found out about Hypno-Birthing but I'm very very very VERY glad I did!
There was a quote on my instuctors page that caught my eye and prompted me to research this more.

"To those who say it's not possible to birth naturally and without pain, I say, "But what if we're right? Wouldn't it be wonderful?"-Lorne R. Campbell, MD

There are many aspects to the Hypno-Birth method but the main concept of it is bringing the joy back into giving birth, the way nature intended it to be. Why should we leave the hospital feeling like we missed out on something? Why should we be scared to meet our little babies?
The classes were once a day for 6 weeks and they were 2-3 hours long. In the classes I was taught what to expect and how to deal with it. When in labor if a womans body is stressed and scared, her muscles tense up and makes it harder for the baby to exit the birth canal which is where the pain comes from. It's like pulling too small turtle neck sweater over your head. But when she's relaxed and calm the muscles relax and the baby can make it's way easily. I was taught methods on how to relax. It mainly is breathing techniques and self-hypnosis (going to your happy place, in layman terms). They focus on breathing the baby down instead of pushing him out. By the end of the 6 weeks I was confident in my body to do what it does naturally and confident that I could do this. It no longer scared me. Justin loved the classes as well because we were on the same page. Hypno-Birthing really supports having the dads be part of all aspects of the birth. It's awesome because I think we, as women, forget how special a time this is for them too. This is their baby as well and they might be freaking out as much as we are. In the classes we were both educated on our roles. They're viewed as the protectors and guardians of their family. It was up to them to help us relax and create a safe environment as we labored. We knew what to expect from each other and what each others roles were and that made a huge difference for both of us. We grew closer in our relationship.

So August 1st comes. I was sleeping on the couch because it was the only cool place in my house. Porter at this point was a week late and I was feeling a little down because I really wanted to meet him.  It was around 6:30ish I think. 3 hours earlier I had dropped off Justin at work because I needed the car to go to my doctors appointment. I had been feeling a few labor pains here and there but nothing real consistent until that morning. I got hit with them hard right off the bat. They were 5-7 minutes apart and I knew that's when my midwife wanted me to go in so I woke up my mom and told her I think I was going into labor. She told me to take a shower and she'd call Justin. I should mention the night before Justins phone got wet so it wasn't working so we had to call Randi's husband, Ryan, who works with Justin. Justin told me that when he got the news he had just finished prepping some stuff at work and had to fill out some paper work. He said his hands were shaking so hard and he didn't remember what he wrote down. Ryan said Justin was white and his paperwork was a mess.
My mom and I picked up Justin and made our way down to Brigham City to this little hospital there. We had pre-registered about a month before so we didn't need to really fill out any paper work. We gave the nurses our birth plan, told them we were going all natural so no epidural or an IV. They pushed the epidural at first trying to get me to sign a consent form "just in case" but we were firm and said we didn't even want the option so they stopped asking. The first little while was boring. We watched the Olympics while I breathed through the labor pains which really weren't that bad. I was fascinated by how my body seemed to adjust to the pain so easily. It seemed like once it got used to the pain with a couple it would amp it up and adjust to that pain level. It was cool. For a while we just hung out creating a very quiet and calm environment. Justin would rub my feet with some essential oils every once in a while, my mom turned on some really calming music...it was just a lot of waiting.
Then around hour 13 my midwife came in and checked me I was at a 8ish and my water still hadn't broken. They discovered that Porter was posterior and was getting stuck on my tail bone (which explained the back pain for me :P) and that was why I was stalled. So this really awesome nurse who is going to school to be a midwife taught me this neat technique to get Porter to turn. It was literally minutes after Porter was turned that I could feel him drop lower and the surges became more intense. Midwife checked me again I was completely dilated and my water broke.
The next little bit was a blur for me because I went pretty deep into concentration. Justin and my Mom both said it was weird cause they couldn't tell when I had contractions I was so deep in my hypnosis. I could feel everything though. I could feel him moving lower and wiggling his way down. I could feel my body building up to the surges. The most overwhelming feeling was the intense spirituality of the whole thing. It's almost as if I could feel him making his way through the veil. I was overwhelmed with pure intense love. A couple of times I was so overcome with everything that was happening that I just wanted it to be over and panicked a little bit. Justin, my mom and the nurse all did such a wonderful job of calming me down and encouraging me through it. I tried to just think of how wonderful it would be when he was here. It was over so quickly. Next thing I knew he was out and laying on my chest, wiggly and slimy. Squawking and sucking on his hands.
Labor was 16 hours done at 10:18 PM.
 He came out pink and a healthy 7lbs 10 oz. 18 1/2 inches long.

Birth isn't scary. I was lucky and didn't have any complications but still even if I did I'm sure we could've handled it just fine. I'm a firm believer in the Hypno-Birthing method. It helped me tons. Still, if you're pregnant, find what works for you and stick with it! It's such a beautiful experience and a woman shouldn't have to feel disappointed or unhappy by the end of it. We live in a society where life and the process of giving life has lost it's beauty and sacredness. Where giving birth naturally has become a phenomenon and usually met with odd looks. It has become such a mystery that the nurses in the hospital were completely blown away by the fact that I had gone natural. They next 3 shifts of nurses kept saying how incredible we were for doing that. I don't understand why they were so awed by that and was a bit sad that people who have made it their lifes career to know the human body and it's functions were blown away by the natural process of life. The whole process of creating life is so miraculous and I didn't do anything that I wasn't designed to do.

I'm so happy. Looking at my baby boy, it's hard for me to imagine my life without him. He's always been part of it. I'm also so happy that Justin and I were married in the temple. We are a family forever. I cannot imagine the celestial kingdom without my family. I'm so excited to be starting this new adventure and I'm excited to be sharing it with everyone!

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and love.

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